"Never Say Die" . . . Living with Lung Cancer

A chronicle of my journey with lung cancer. I'll share what I feel and learn along the way ~ hoping it will help my fellow travelers make their way down this rocky road that no one wants to take.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Saying goodbye . . .

Our Loving and Loyal Companion

Chessie

Yesterday was a very sad day here. We were forced to have Chessie put to sleep. The last week or so had been very hard for her as she lost further strength in her legs and and found it harder and harder to get up or walk. Dave and I had been helping her get up from a sitting position but it got to the point where she wasn't able to walk very far without falling again. She was very brave about it but it finally it became obvious that she was suffering and not enjoying any quality of life. We didn't want that for her.

Her loss has left a void in our hearts and in our home. It doesn't seem right for her not to be here. Casey cried when we came in without her and looked all over for her. He's been very quiet and wants even more attention than usual. I'm sure he senses our sadness and also misses his pal.

Chessie went through a lot in her life. She was epileptic and suffered grand mal seizures until we found the right medicine. When she was younger she got into a battle with a porcupine and lost. She had to have two surgeries to remove all the quills in her nose. Then she developed arthritis in her hind hips. Finally, she went into renal failure.

She was very brave through everything. In fact, the thing that bothered her most wasn't pain but thunder! The booming scared her and she always wanted to stay close to me with her head hidden, either under a table or beneath my desk. She would tremble and be very uncomfortable until the storm passed.

She loved going for walks and sniffing everything she could find along the way. She loved to play in snowbanks and dig for chipmunks. She also loved pizza crust, sausage, tuna and her family.

We'll never forget Chessie and all the love, loyalty, companionship and joy she brought to us. And we hope she's now in a place where she can again run and play without pain.

We love you, Chess.

***********

Other than for feeling very sad, I'm doing well. I've had two of the new treatments now and haven't suffered any side effects at all. My hair is still hanging in there and continues to grow at a snail's pace . . . but, at least it is growing. There is no bone pain with this particular drug and so that's a real relief. Neither does it change the flavor of food like the first one did so I haven't lost my appetite. We'll find out in December how effective it is ~ that's when I have my next set of CAT scans.

I'm knitting a new cozy afghan for the winter. The yarn is very soft and the pattern in such that there will be no openings for toes to sneak out. I can picture myself wrapped up in it's warmth when the snow comes. I've also been reading ~ big surprise there, huh? My mother and I took a day and went a little farther north to look for elk. We'd hoped to find them in the wild but that wasn't to be. We finally went to a reserve where they have elk and six different kinds of deer. It was very interesting and we had a good day. The scenery was beautiful and it was a warm day ~ perfect for out adventure.

I mentioned that my high school class celebrated it's 45th reunion last month. Even though I wasn't able to go, I've heard from several of my old classmates since and it's really been fun catching up. It's interesting to see what they've been doing with their lives since high school. I'm hoping we'll be able to stay in touch now because there's no friend like an old friend.

Well guys, that's about all the news I have for this time. I hope you'll keep me in your prayers. Thanks for reading.

'til next time . . . hug your furkids every day.