Just a Bunch of Rambling Thoughts . . .

The sun is shining today and we have snow on the ground for the first time in quite awhile ~ too bad it didn't come in time for Christmas. But my day would be bright anyway because of the test results we got yesterday. I admit that I was very nervous about that. I would have been awfully disappointed and disheartened had there been no improvement in my CT scan. Now I know the chemo is working and that makes all the difference. I'd hate to think that I lost my hair and have put up with the other side effects for nothing. ; ) But, more importantly, I know now that I am making some headway in my battle. If there had been no change or if the tumors had grown that wouldn't bode well for my future.

I haven't told you guys about the other battle I'm waging and losing . . . my weight! Who would ever think that a patient with lung cancer and on chemotherapy would be getting heavier! When I picture someone in that position, I imagine a skinny person. But lo and behold . . . I'm not! My doctors are pleased that I'm gaining weight but I'm certainly not! I sure wouldn't want to look emaciated but neither do I want to turn into a blimp! My oncologist said the weight gain is due to the steroids I'm taking ~ not only do they increase your appetite but they cause you to retain fluid. So, I guess I just have to put up with it until the chemo is over. : ( They tell me, in this case, weighing more is a good thing. (This comes from a doctor who has a perfect, slim body!)

I have to admit that chocolate may be playing a small role in this . . . since they told me that I can have sugar, I've celebrated by eating Mounds bars, Almond Joy bars, Snickers bars, Belgian chocolate and chocolate shakes. To one who hasn't eaten these in at least 25 years, they taste especially wonderful! However, I've told Dave not to buy me any more of them . . . I have to find another, less caloric way of pampering myself. But hey! Dark chocolate, coconut, almonds, and peanuts are supposed to be good for you! : ) (Isn't that called rationalization?)

I just bought some hats and scarves so that I can be stylishly bald. They are so much more comfortable than wigs. They are all cotton and don't make my scalp itch or create red bumps all over my head. That's quite a relief! The wig gets really hot and makes me uncomfortable so this is a pleasant change. Besides, I feel so fake in the wig - it may look natural but it sure doesn't feel that way. I'm always afraid it's going to move or something and make me look stupid. No one wants to wear a cockeyed wig! LOL

I've been reading a lot, especially during my tired times. It's so nice not to have to feel guilty about indulging in one of my favorite activities. The only schedule I have to worry about is that for my treatments and blood tests. I don't have to worry about marketing and project deadlines and I have to admit I'm enjoying that freedom. At this point, I don't know if I will ever get back to my copywriting business. This experience has changed me and my priorities a great deal. Somehow Internet marketing just doesn't hold the appeal it once did. I haven't made any definite decisions but I'm leaning toward just enjoying my life instead of working so hard. I'll let you know more about this when I'm sure what I want to do.

Well guys, that's about it for today. My book is beckoning me and I don't think a nap is too far off either. ; )

Until next time . . . It's your life, live it the way you want to.