Happy Birthday, John!

I just have to start this entry with happiest birthday wishes for my son, John. It doesn't seem like that long ago he arrived in the midst of a very large snow and ice storm. I remember that day so clearly even though it's now been 36 years! I look at him, at 6' tall, and wonder how in the world he got from that 7 pound infant to this big man! I suppose most mothers feel the same way when they look at their grown sons.

I told John that even though I had my doubts sometimes along the way ; ) I'm very proud of the man he's become . . . and I am! I couldn't ask for a better son. That's why I hope this birthday is the start of an exceptionally good year that brings him and his family everything they need and treasure most. I hope it's a year filled with love, laughter and peace. Those are my wishes for you, John. And I thank you for all you give to me! I love you!

The halfway mark . . .

I had my third chemo treatment yesterday which marks the midpoint of this course. It went well and I feel fine except for being a bit tired. My face is quite flushed but it just gives me a rosy glow. : ) Soon, we'll see if the reduction in the Taxol lessens the bone pain a little. It would be nice not to hobble around like a 90 year-old woman. LOL

As I told you, I'm having a CT scan on Tuesday to find out what affect the chemo has had on the tumors. As I'm sure you can imagine, I'm hoping it's been very effective! I admit I'll be very disappointed if there is little or no change. I'd really appreciate all of your prayers for this momentous occasion! : )

The price of wellness . . .

We got our first billing from Hematology and Oncology and were shocked to find that one of the drugs I'm taking costs $12,600 for just 10 mg. Can you imagine? So far I've had it three times to the tune of almost $38,000! It's no wonder the drug companies are doing so well while doctors and hospitals struggle. It also helps to explain why insurance costs keep rising. I'm not going to say this drug isn't worth it, it's too early to tell. If it helps save my life, I'm sure I'll think it is. However, what do people do who don't have health insurance? Does it mean that they can't have the benefit of this drug? If so, that's just not right. It seems like there are just too many inequities in this world.

I was touched . . .

I had an appointment with my Family Nurse Practitioner, Connie, on Wednesday. Connie has been wonderfully supportive during this time but she still managed to surprise me. She gave me some fuzzy, soft and warm slipper socks, a set of lotions and a Christmas candle! She said she wanted to give me something I could pamper myself with. I was overwhelmed by her kindness. There are just so many wonderful people out there. I know I say that a lot but it's so true!

No snow for Christmas . . .

It's beginning to look like we won't have a white Christmas up here in the northland this year. Right now it's raining and and the temps are in the 30's and 40's. According to the weather forecasters, there isn't much chance for snow in the immediate future. I guess that's good for travelers but I have to admit that I'll miss it on Christmas Day. It's been quite some time since we've not had snow for
the holiday. However, despite the weather, there is still magic in the season and that's what I'm going to be focusing on. I hope you are too. All the Christmas lights, carols and the feeling of love and goodwill more than make up for a lack of snow. The important thing isn't all the baubles and wrappings . . . it's God's gift to us ~ Jesus.

I hope all of you are having a beautiful Christmas season and that between shopping, wrapping, parties,etc., you have time to relax and enjoy the warmth and the spirit of Christmas, loving time with your families and all the other things that make this such a special time of the year.

Until next time . . . Wrap yourself in love.

Life is Good . . .

Sorry I haven't made an entry in so long, guys. There's nothing wrong ~ I'm doing fine ~ I've just been involved in some things that have kept me away from the computer. I'm knitting on a Christmas project and reading a great book, Dave and I have been spending more time together and my family is keeping me busy with all of their great ministrations. : )

A week and a half ago, I did all my Christmas shopping online. Since I'm not supposed to be in crowds of people, this was a Godsend. I found everything I needed and most at reduced prices. Best of all, I got it all done in a couple of hours. I kinda miss the hustle and bustle of the stores but I know that I'd be tired of that in about an hour anyway. LOL

I've never had to be so conscious of germs in my life! It's kind of maddening! I can't pet my dogs without using hand sanitizer afterward! It tends to make you very paranoid of everything. My oncologist told me to stay away from kids which is hard to do with Christmas coming and three grandchildren in the area. However, when I told her their ages, she said they aren't as germy as the little ones. I'm just hoping none of them get sick before Christmas!

Speaking of my oncologist, I had an appointment with her last week. She said that my body is recovering well from the chemo treatments and that she's very pleased. She asked about the side effects I'm having and I told her the only significant one is the bone pain. She said she's going to reduce the dosage of one of the drugs. I wasn't sure I wanted that and told her I would rather experience the bone pain than have the chemo work less effectively. She said it would be fine at a lower dosage and that she had been "pushing the envelope" a little with the present dosage. We'll see how it goes now.

After my treatment on Thursday, they will be scheduling a CT scan to see what effect the chemo has had so far on the tumors. Hopefully, the scan will show that the tumors have gotten smaller. I need all of your prayers and positive thoughts. I know I'm going to sitting on pins and needles waiting for the results. ; ) It's hard to believe that I'll be halfway through this course of chemo after this treatment ~ the time has passed so quickly!

It's so funny ~ the little bit of hair I have left on my head is growing! Can you believe that?? In fact, it's about time for a haircut! LOL The steroid cream has cleared up the red blotches and the itching on my scalp so I'm about ready to try hats and my wig again. When I've gone out recently, I've just worn a baseball cap and that isn't any too warm for this climate. But, hopefully, my little alien head has toughened up some and will be able to tolerate a little more covering.

I've been having trouble with insomnia but my doctor finally found some sleep medication that helps. Now I'm not up half the night! That's really a relief. Plus, my mom gave me a feather bed to put on top of my mattress and it's soooo comfy! It feels wonderful to crawl in bed at night with all the softness around me. I feel like a princess! I'm sure that's helped me sleep better too.

Even though I haven't been able to attend mass, Edith, who is an Eucharistic Minister in our parish, comes every Friday to give me communion. She has a beautiful way of presenting the sacrament and it's very inspirational. So my spiritual needs are being well taken care of. I look forward to Edith's visit each week. It's a time for reflection and renewal ~ I know it gives me greater strength and peace of mind. It's great that there are people like Edith who take the time to make sure shut-ins are still able to partake of Holy Communion and strengthen their bonds with God.

Now that I can have anything I want to eat, I'm enjoying things I haven't had in years! Dave brought me some Almond Joy and Mounds bars last night. They taste so good! I feel like a kid in a candy store! I guess there are some advantages to be being sick ~ I get to eat candy, ice cream, and shakes and my doctor doesn't want me to lose weight! Neither do I ever get a lecture about fat and cholesterol. All I have to worry about is eating a high protein, high calorie diet. That's a switch, isn't it?

I've had a few down moments since I was last here but they really didn't amount to much. It's hard to stay down when you have as much loving support as I have. I don't think a day goes by when someone doesn't do something exceptionally kind for me. So, once again, I want to emphasize how wonderful people are when they know they're needed. We all need to be surrounded by love and caring, so, no matter what your situation, don't be afraid to ask for a helping hand and don't forget to be grateful when it's offered.

Until next time . . . Surround yourself with love.

Back again ~ with this, that and everything . . .

Sorry to have been missing in action for so long but it's been a busy time.

Last Thursday I had my second chemo treatment. My white count had rebounded wonderfully and went from way below normal to almost the top of the normal range. I guess my bone marrow was really working out and that's why I was so darn tired. The treatment was uneventful and I didn't have any problems except for the bone pain which is getting a little better each day.

Of course the highlight of the week was John arriving from California. He came in on Friday and the weather just didn't want to cooperate! We had a big winter storm which made driving a lot hazardous. However, after waiting for several hours to make sure John's flight would even be able to land, we made it safely to the airport to pick him up even thought the trip took about twice as long as it normally does. I was so thrilled to see him . . . you can't even begin to imagine!

It was entirely a family weekend ~ everyone wanting time with John ~ my mother, Jenn and her kids, Dave and me. It was wonderful! We didn't do anything special except visit and that was more than enough!. There's nothing that can replace having your whole family in one place! And, to John's credit, he didn't hole up in the house to avoid the very cold weather we had. He was out and about with his sister and his grandmother. It was me who stayed pretty close to hearth and home. ; ) There were lots of laughs and good conversations that I can recount until he comes again.

We weren't expecting bad weather on Monday when we had to return John to the airport but we got it anyway! He maneuvered the car well, especially considering he hasn't driven in snow and ice for years. He had some fun scaring Jenn who is a very paranoid winter driver but, of course, never drove dangerously. All too soon we were at the airport and saying goodbye again.

The visit may have been short but I wouldn't have traded it for a million dollars.

John even looked at my bald head and didn't gasp! LOL As for me, I'm getting used to it. I've developed some contact dermatitis from either the wig or the knit caps and my scalp itches like crazy! I feel like a dog must feel with fleas! : ) I finally had to go to the doctor yesterday to find out for sure what was causing the big, red blotchy bumps and ended up with some steroid cream to help it. Meanwhile, I'm not covering my head at all in the house ~ hoping the air will help cure it. So, anyone who comes to visit must be prepared for my little bald head.

Later today, I have to go to the Cancer Institute for my weekly blood check. Hopefully the counts will still be in the normal range and I'll still have energy for awhile. If high spirits can keep them elevated, I should be okay because I loved John's visit and having my whole family around for the weekend. It was really a high point for me.

If I ever needed a reminder that family is the top priority, I don't need it now. It's such a great feeling to be surrounded by love! Of course, they pamper me shamelessly ~ probably a lot more than I deserve ~ and make me feel like the most important person in the world. I could get spoiled but I don't think I will. I appreciate it so much.

It's been a little lonely since John left ~ the typical empty nest syndrome I guess ~ but we've talked a lot on the phone and that helps a great deal. Now I'm looking forward to the next visit from Fleecie and my granddaughter, Jordan. I'm sure John will be back, too, when he can get a little longer time off. I have so very much to be grateful for and I never forget it for a minute.

Here's something that is posted at the Cancer Institute ~ I asked Jenn to copy it down for me while I was having my treatment:

What Cancer Cannot Do . . .

Cancer is so limited . . .
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal Eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit.

-Author unknown

No matter what your personal challenge is, just replace it for the word "cancer" and the same will apply. The human spirit is stronger than anything it confronts and can make anything bearable . . . As long as you let it.

Thanks to all of you who are going through this journey with me ~ you'll never know how much it means to me. The world is filled with such caring and kind people it's totally overwhelming. Don't wait for a crisis to realize this.

Until next time . . . Remember that there is much more good than bad surrounding each of us.